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I've decided to share my latest book (最重要的是,吃饱了,Giant White Man) with my followers here,免费的,一次一章。So… Where were we on this read-along… Oh,yes…

第38章:是时候了

“一个!两个!等待!“我对诺亚大声喊叫,因为我用我核心的每一块肌肉来防止重重地摔倒在他身上。“等我说三个!”

“好吧,可以,I'm trying to go at the right time,Dad!" he chimes back as he hops down from the giant stability ball I'm currently balancing on and climbs back up onto the couch next to me.

我又找到了我的余额,并重申了我的指示。我们正在尝试一种新的平衡技巧,以增加我们不断增长的剧目。这一次涉及到诺亚从沙发上跳起来,把脚放在球的右边,就在我向左倾斜以平衡他的那一刻。The plan is for him to then pull himself up onto me and carefully stand up.Once he's precariously planted there,we both will put our arms up and yell,“塔达!”有点大胆,a bit dangerous,and really fun.If he jumps too soon,it pulls me and the ball on top of him.If he jumps too late,he gets a faceful of rubber and I end up ass first on the floor.

“好吧,now wait until I say three to jump this time."

“好吧。”

“一个。”他蹲下。

“两个。”他跳了起来。

"Wait!I didn't say three yet!" I yell as I fall heavily to the floor."Wait till I say three!"

It would take another thirteen attempts before we nail it.然后我们立即正确地连续做不少于八次,我们最终感到无聊,开始策划新的把戏,the amazingness level of which has never before been seen by mankind.



其他时候,我会在球上保持平衡,他会有自由的统治权爬上去,把自己锁在他喜欢的地方。然后我们看看在跳跃时能平衡多久,摇晃着,and just kind of going crazy in general.

它总是以抓肠子的笑声或眼泪结束。没有中间地带。这是我们喜欢这样做的原因之一。

The next day I find myself angrily staring Noah down.“放回去,”我告诉他,尽可能凶猛地皱着眉头。

“不!”他笑着说,他为自己离滑槽和梯子板有多远而自豪,他只是轻击了我的球员。

“把它放回去,or I will do something you're not gonna like." I raise one eyebrow and with one hard look,I dare him to try me.

"Go ahead.I'm not getting your dumb piece," he says,pretending to be a smug little snot.Hewantsto see what I'm plotting for my revenge.

这样,我向前冲,抓住他。我一直在为这个存钱。我把他的身体夹在两腿之间,让一个撕裂。He starts squealing in horror.“我警告过你,”我说。

他立刻跳起来,开始尖叫,好像他被我的行为深深地影响了。I turn my attention away for no longer than a moment,and he immediately leaps forward and sits on my face.他告诉我:“我要坐在这里,直到世界上最大的一个出现。”



在继续我们的棋盘游戏之前,我们至少再骑马5分钟。

That night it's his last night at Dad's house before he heads over to his Mom's place again.“你想要什么?”我问他。"A book or a story?" He chooses a story just like he always does.他喜欢我为他编造的故事。

他跑到我的床上,坚持要在我开始之前把房子里的每盏灯都关掉。For some reason he likes it pitch black.一旦任务完成,我爬到他旁边的盖子中间,继续向他讲述我想出的最精彩的故事。

这个故事讲的是一只小老鼠独自生活在一艘巨轮上。船从来没去过任何地方,它就在港口变老了,and mossy,and worn down.

One day the mouse decided to have some friends over to try and make life a little less boring,但有一个问题。他没有朋友。They had all moved away or they had drifted apart.于是他沿着系缆走下去,开始寻找新的。

The mouse's name was Noah.我总是让诺亚选择角色的名字。诺亚总是主角的名字。That is,until he realizes that in any particular story the main character is a bad guy,then I have to change it.



And in this story,一只名叫诺亚的老鼠沿着停泊线跑去,开始寻找新朋友。

He starts at a nearby pub.A fat mouse is sitting outside on a wicker chair,刷他的胡须。“我没有朋友,”诺亚告诉他。"Will you be my friend?" The fat mouse turns him down and tells him he has better things to do than to hang out with skinny little loners.

But Noah doesn't let it get him down.他知道别人是卑鄙的,因为他们不喜欢自己。The fat mouse was probably pretty sad that he was fat,and he was going to take it out on anyone who tried to be nice to him.

Next Noah tries the bakery.一只毛茸茸的小狗懒洋洋地靠在门口。诺亚问他是否想成为他的朋友。"Dogs aren't friends with mice," the dog retorts snobbishly."Come back when you can play fetch and howl at the moon like I can," he says.

Noah doesn't get discouraged.He knows the dog is probably just having a hard day,and so he continues his quest.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

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上一篇文章 谁把硬币堆起来的?
Next article *Finally* Waking-Up
Dan beplaysports靠谱吗Pearce is an American-born author,app developer,摄影师,and artist.This blog,beplay中心app单身爸爸笑着,是他最出名的,截至2017年,日均用户超过200万。beplaysports靠谱吗Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works,as well as his musings which span from fatherhood,to dating,to life,to the people and dynamics of society.beplay中心app单亲爸爸笑不仅仅是一个博客。这是一个令人难以置信的社区,人们在一起真是太棒了!